If I'm wrong, tell me why I'm wrong and you're right.. Read.
Got halfway to the bus stop to go to the pool and realised I didn't
have my shoulder bag. Sprinted home, got it, and made it to the bus.
Got off the bus at the other end, realised Sophia's bag didn't have her swimming costume in it. Got a bus home, grabbed it, now in a taxi.
Fingers crossed that nothing else comes between me and drop-off and work!
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kaberett at 04:41pm on 03/07/2025( Read more... )
cosmolinguist at 01:38pm on 03/07/2025 under the mentalsMaking dinner was so hard I couldn't eat dinner. I just laid on my bed and couldn't talk or think properly at all.
It was scary because it meant that the problem wasn't contained in the immediate aftermath of counseling or whatever (not that I really expected it to be, given that I'd actually spent most of the session talking about how I was surprised not to be triggered by something that very reasonably could have been expected to leave me feeling really bad). And it was miserable.
I ended up sleeping for three or four hours and woke up because I needed to pee and D came to bed about that time. He thought I was asleep because I didn't move or talk. Until I had to get up for the bathroom and then after I came back to bed I was sobbing and we talked a little.
The conversation was good and useful. We came up with some plans. I know D has been struggling with poor sleep and I wouldn't have done this after midnight if I'd had much choice about it. But I did feel much better afterwards.
Today has started normally. But then so did yesterday (I was relieved when I could open the curtains and do chores while feeling okay), so who kmows.
kaberett at 11:22pm on 02/07/2025(Yeah I'm struggling with the ukpol news at the moment, and feeling especially bleak about this FOI response in particular. Maybe I will manage to pull together a post of useful "please write to your MP about the UC/PIP bill" tomorrow, given I've got them all open in tabs to do so anyway.)
( Read more... )
andrewducker at 12:00pm on 02/07/2025 under bigotry, clothing, corruption, history, invention, links, ohforfuckssake, research, rights, uk, viafanf, workandrewducker at 10:20am on 02/07/2025 under micropostkaberett at 11:25pm on 01/07/2025( Read more... )
cosmolinguist at 09:02pm on 01/07/2025 under the mentalsI could barely do the morning chores I usually feel neutral-to-positive about this morning -- I open the curtains, unload the dishwasher, make a pot of tea, get breakfast for myself... Things that are always the same and always different. It can be very grounding.
Today I wasn't especially tired and I wasn't in pain or anything, I just didn't want to. I couldn't imagine doing the first tiniest step.
This is a sign of burnout. I need a break. I was telling my counselor this evening that a break for me has to be somewhere away from my house, because my house is full of reminders of chores I need to do, things that get on my nerves, etc. I am not good at relaxing, but when I can do it it doesn't tend to happen at home.
I did an okay amount of work today but near the end of the day I was in this focus group about "inclusion" in our workplace. These things can be kinda therapeutic but by the end I was thinking that we keep having surveys and stuff like this, where we tell some nice external person all our woes and we're assured that the feedback is anonymized into themes that cannot identify us, but all that means is our specific nuanced articulations all get flattened in to "we all have good colleagues who care about their work but the executive team keep letting us down," and we're going to get the same kind of response from said executive team about how impressed they are at everyone's honesty and how committed they are to addressing these themes, and then we'll do this all over again in a year or two.
I felt really tired by the end of it, which wasn't great because it was almost time for my first counseling session in almost a month. A real "let me explain, no there is too much let me sum up" kind of situation.
My counseling happens on the phone and usually in my bedroom; I normally come right back downstairs in search of dinner, but this time I just lay on my bed for something ridiculous like an hour. I kept trying to get up and go back downstairs but again: so many steps. And it was relatively peaceful just lying there.
Since I had to come downstairs and try to eat dinner I'm feeling more depersonalization, so maybe all of this has been more stressful or triggery than I realized. I hate feeling like this; is probably the most uncomfortable symptom of my anxiety/depression.
"Sophia, will you pose with your brother for a photo?"
"I will, but I'm very angry about it!"
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forestofglory at 01:42pm on 30/06/2025 under sewingalierak in ![[site community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/comm_staff.png){kind=small}
dw_maintenance at 03:18pm on 30/06/2025We did finally meet with the university senior management on 10th June, over a month after we originally requested a meeting. It wasn't a complete success, but we did come out of it with assurance that the existing policy on gender reassignment was still in place, and trans people can continue to use the toilets that match their lived gender, that no-one should be challenging people in the toilets, and that any changes to the policy would not happen until after the EHRC guidance is published in the autumn, and would involve a proper consultation, and a full Equality Impact Assessment of the changes
We asked them to respond to the EHRC consultation as an institution, and gave them a deadline of 20th June to communicate the above facts with all members of staff, including information on how to seek advice and support (other than just the staff counselling service!)
Instead they published a statement on Sharepoint on Tuesday (24th June), which did not meet our requests. The unions have put out a joint statement today (drafted last week, but it took a while to get it online) as a result:
Finished my response and submitted at 11:30 last night, having had to start from scratch on Sunday because a browser refresh had lost my previous attempt. I copied and pasted my responses into a document before submitting, as I'd been warned it wouldn't save them or send them to me. Tired now, and too hot today too, but glad I got it done.
Not sharing it all here, but from the final question:
Overall, as a trans inclusive feminist woman, I find this Code of Practice to be incredibly upsetting. I want to be able to include trans people in my life. I want to accept them in their lived gender. I'm happier with women's places which include trans people than I am with ones which exclude them. I want to have advice on how I can do this, and it's completely lacking here.
The Code is unclear in many places not just on how trans inclusive policies can work, but also on how the suggested trans *exclusive* policies can work in practice. It relies too much on the idea that you can always tell which people are trans and which people are not, and it seems willing to change existing practice significantly even where this will disadvantage trans people.
I don't think this is what the ruling in the Supreme Court was trying to achieve. The changes here are so incredibly broad, and so much at odds with other legislation, that they seem to go far beyond what is necessary, and it feels like an ideological stance to exclude trans people. If this is not the intention than it needs re-writing considerably.
andrewducker at 12:00pm on 30/06/2025 under books, business, employment, festival, links, music, ohforfuckssake, reviews| Sun | Mon | Tue | Wed | Thu | Fri | Sat |
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