posted by [identity profile] aiwendel.livejournal.com at 08:47am on 28/05/2016
I've had both - mentally actually it would be stupid to go on stopping and physically utterly broken and unable to continue stopping whilst mentally very much wanting to, but in very different situations. The latter has been post cycling into town, hashing. And mid cycling home type of times. Getting home is what every bit of me wants to do, but body literally can't move any more and grinding to a shivering halt and puddling on the ground is particularly miserable. I've taken to carrying emergency food so when I get to this point I can refuel and drag myself home. It is very miserable though. I think it was worst when in denial about being ill. I'm more prone to mentally not wanting to start things now, like physical landscaping work that has put me in that state, or going into town by bike when low. Once I've got over the fight to start I tend to push through and finish as there isn't another choice, but there will be tears when struggling and weakness. But that's not the same as doing laps of a race. I think I'd definitely quit if I was in that state for no particular reason as it would be foolish not to.
 
posted by [identity profile] aiwendel.livejournal.com at 08:51am on 28/05/2016
Oh and I should add a concurrance with the above, carrying on stupidly pushing myself absolutely to my physical limits had resulted in long term injury and poor physical health. It's a very silly thing to do! Mentally I don't always realise or notice in advance as the push till can't go on thing is quite strong. I'm getting better at stopping though. It's hard to quit before dead without feeling lazy, however stupid that is.

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